all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
