You work out of a Hotel?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is it because I queefed?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
