I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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