The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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