Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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