This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
