I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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