Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
