Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
