It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
