i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
