He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
