I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
