Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
