morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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