I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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