Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he thought i was a dude.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
And then he peed in my hair
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