batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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