I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
