sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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