what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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