It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
