it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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