We're facebook friends in real life
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
