Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He shit in the fireplace
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
