You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
