Where is the hickey?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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