We're like a lot better than the average bears
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
