I just pynch a tree in the face
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
