Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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