when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
