Cold hands, warm shart.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
