you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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