She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
