i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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