Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
