Don't you send me to vm
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
