It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
