I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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