Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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