Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
