when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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