yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
