its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
