you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
