Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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