my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
