gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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