I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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