the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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