return my video game
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
