it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
